Christian Speak
Some funny things Christians say
Many people who come to Jesus discover that they have encountered a new language system along with a new faith.
The term for this language is “Christianese.”
Here are some of those words.
Quiet Time
No, you haven’t been sent back to kindergarten for the block of time that immediately follows the more exciting snack time.
Quiet time is what Christians like to call the time they spend with God.
It’s often spent in conjunction with reading the Bible, praying, and (often!) drinking coffee. Some Christians take their quiet time to the next level with baked goods and related breakfast items.
But you don’t need to stay on your mat when you pray.
I’ll Pray About That
Speaking of prayer, this is how Christians often respond when they are asked if they want to do something.
I’ve been happy to discover that most Christians actually mean this when they say it! They truly want to submit their plans to God and pray for His leading before making a decision.
Of course, there are certainly people who use their prayers as cover as they find an excuse to secure a religious exemption to the potluck you’ve invited them to.
Discernment
This is often what Christians are seeking when they “pray about that.”
When they pray do they have a supernatural sense of leading from God on the subject at hand? What is the wise and faithful course of action? This is part of what it means to be practice discernment.
Not all subjects, of course, require such intentional discernment.
“My dear, will you change this diaper?”
No supernatural discernment needed. Christians are also capable of using common sense and brains like regular people.
Although perhaps there can be a temptation to want to “discern” for certain things that might not require it.
“My dear, I think the baby just pooped in the tub. Can you handle it?”
For that, some may be tempted to enter a longer “season of discernment.”
Travel Mercies
This is what Christians pray for before going on a trip.
It means praying for a safe trip. Like the one I might want to take whenever I hear my daughter pooped in the tub.
Season
This is how Christians refer to a phase of life they are going through.
It’s a very Biblical sort of idea. Here’s a Bible verse that proves I’m not making this up.
There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens [Ecclesiastes 3:1]
This seasonal approach to living can actually help develop a healthy and patient outlook on life.
As the following verse from Galatians reminds us, not all seasons are for harvesting. There can be long times of preparation leading into gathering the fruit of ones labor.
9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. [Galatians 6:9]
It is a helpful framework for holding life in balance. But still, it’s a weird sounding way of talking to non-Christians. I guess you could say we’re perpetually in a season of sounding weird.
Dry Season
Here’s a close variant that is worth mentioning.
Having a “dry season” or a “season learning perseverance” is another way of saying life is brutally hard right now.
That dry and dusty looking ground on the right side of the image above is what life feels like in a dry season. Brittle, shriveled, and cracked.
But the cool thing about the Christian approach to seasonal living is that dry seasons are always followed by rain and new growth. So even in those dark times there is hope as we trust in God for what (season) He’s preparing us for.
Fellowship
This is what Christians have when they hang out with other Christians.
It comes from a Greek word that connotes shared purpose, mutual support, and a sense of brotherly (and sisterly) unity.
But Christians often use it to refer to the dedicated time that is scheduled after the Sunday church service for hanging out. That’s called, you guessed it, fellowship time.
Fellowship time often includes coffee.
And there’s typically food like pastries or some other baked item. But don’t let the coffee and pastries fool you - this is not quiet time.
Sin Nature
Christians recognize that we are deeply flawed people.
Those failings and shortcomings aren’t problems we can overcome through our own self improvement plan. Because, on our own, we don’t think we’re naturally good people. Instead, we see that humanity tends to be selfish, distrusting, and power-seeking as a default setting because of our sin nature.
It’s not just the urge to grab that second donut at fellowship time when there’s only enough for one per person. Our selfishness runs deeper than that.
This is why Christians are always talking about Jesus. Because we truly believe that it’s only in Him that we can have new life and renewed hearts.
If you don’t know Him and recognize your need for God, it’s never too late to “pray about that.” God won’t leave you high and dry.
Before they call I will answer; while they are yet speaking I will hear [Isaiah 65:24]
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Last week: Moses and Jesus and the Burning Bush
Next week: A more serious take on one specific Christian word
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What a fun read. Your sense of humor certainly came through this article and made me laugh repeatedly. Don’t worry, I’ll send you on a trip if you abandon me to a poop filled tub. 😂🩵